Sunday, January 22, 2012

Real Funda of the Girlfriends


Problem yeh hai ki woh ladki hai. aur kya problem haiProblem yeh hai ki main chahata hoon ki meri life mein koiye problem na hoLekin agar meri life mein koiye problem na ho toh yeh uski life ki sabse badi problem hai...And bull shit she is worried yaar use to celebrate karna chahiye thaShe is in this exactly what she wants


Seriously yaar aajkal jab bhi wo muh kholti man karta hai muh me kuch stuff kardoon




Trust me yaar cheih mahinom me I have had it all Sab dekhliya meine
Kaunsi pyaar Kaisi relationship?
Kahin ki khushiya?


Relationship ka matlab ye rehta hai an end to your own happiness


Uske baad all you have to worry about is uski khushiyaan uska birthday
uske kutte ka birthday


Uska new year to kabhi tumhara bhi new year tha


In ladkiyon ko na koi khush nahi rakh sakta


A happy woman is a myth


Tu batman wali ki dekh le
Saala Jab tak saala batman nahi bana
tab tak bolti rahi
tum toh kuch karte nahi ho
nakara ho
napunshak ho
main tum jaise insaan ke saath kaise reh sakti hu
jisdin bechara batman ban gaya
us din boli
tum toh batman ban gaye
mujhe toh ek normal insaan chahiye tha
main tumhare saath kaise reh sakti hu


Sab saalan na in bollywood kahaniyon ka dosh hai


Bloody bollywood romantic masaala
Ek ladka ek ladki dono ko pyaar hua Dono saath saath Film khatam


Is ke baad ka story koi nahi batata Iske baad ki kahaani mein batata hoon


Iske baad ladke ne ladki ko do din hug nahi kiya To problem
Hug kiya to chape ho rahe ho Itna bhi achcha nahi lagta


Saale Shopping khatam nahi hoti inki Pehle cushion laye fir curtain laye
cushion, curtain se match nahi kiye toh aur cushion laye
mere ghar mein mug itne hai ki unko bechne jaoon
toh mahine ka kharcha nikal aaye


Ek to jo cheez lena hai wo leke nahi ayegi do hafte dimag chatenge ki
table lena hai table lena hai
5 ghante maal me bitake ek sadhi si chappal utha kar layenge
aur fir agle do hafte dimag chatenge
table lena hai table lena hai...


Office me kaam kar raha hoon
Phone aa jayega


Phone utathe hi bol deta hoon
Baat nahi kar sakta


Kitna mushkil hai ye baat samajhna?
Do minute karloge to kya ho jayega


Are do minute karloonga to tumhe kya miledi meri maan


Thik se to kar paoonga nahi


Aur iske baad I love you bole bina phone kaataan to naatak


Sabse jyada dimaag ki dahi is mobile phone ne ki hai...


Kitna ghatiya invention hai saala


Trust me I say patta hai saala patta...


ek toh ...inke ad bhi dekho
lo ji 1 paisa per second
aur phone karo
aur phone karo
aare call sasti ho jaane se baat thodi na badh jati hai karne ko
fir iska jawab unhe bhi do
tumhare pass baat kyon nahi hai karne ko
you have lost interest in me
tumhe hoon hoon hi karna atha toh maine tumhe phone hi kyon kiya???
are meri maa mujhe kya pata tune mujhe phone kyon kiya???
jake bharti mittal se puch na...


tujhe main bata raha hoon
us ad mein kutta nahi kutia hai...
seriously
mein shart laga sakta hoon...


Tujhe kya lagta hai


Columbus ko pata nahi tha wo india nahi jaa raha tha


Glati se pahoonch gaya?


Usko to pata tha


Wo bechara to kahin door jaan chahta tha


Biwi ki chakkar me bolna pada India jaa raha hoon


Nah to das sawaal poochti


Kahaan jaa rahe ho
Kyon jaa rahe ho


Achcha tumhe pata bhi nahi kahaan jaa rahe ho?
Seedhe seedhe kyon nahi bolte ki mujhse kahin door jaan chahte ho/


Aaj tak bechare ka mazaak udati hai duniya


Office me kaam kar raha hoon
Sms aajayega
I love you
Thik hai mein bhi sms karleta hoon


I love you too
Iske baad sms pe sms shuroo


abey kaam kya karti hai office mein???


Do sms ka reply mat karna


Turant Phone aa jayega


Phone mat uthaa
To dus min me message aa chuka hoga


I don't think its working anymore


Dus min me Babu I love you to
I don't think its working anymore


And this is when they are not even down


Ab pata chala ye aadmiyon ko itne heart attack kyon aate hain


Aur yeh…. gay bande itne successful kyon hote hai???


Because they don't have a woman to screw their happiness na


Log kehte hain na behind every successful man, there is a woman
True


But koi ye nahi bataata ki
behind every unsuccessful man, also there is a woman


Aur ye to koi bhi bata sakta hai na


Ki unsuccessful logon ka taadaath


Successful logon se kayi guna zyada hai is duniya me


Saala Office me kaam kar raha hoon


Keh raha hoon late ho jaaonga


To khaana nahi khayegi


Phir bhooki so jayegi


Are mein keh raha hoon na khana khalo


Kya karoon naukri chod doon?


saale ghar jaao


Pehle Inhe manao inhe khilao


Uske baad khud ki bhookh to aise hi mar jaati hai


Is sab ke baad bhi insaan kisi tarah


Kone me jaake shaanti se baitha hua hai chup chaap to gaya


Gadi gadi
kya soch rahe ho???


kya soch rahe ho???
kya soch rahe ho???


Are kuch nahi soch raha meri maa
yeh soch raha hoon ki tera mooh kaise band karu...
kya soch raha hoon
camera laga doon dimag mein...




Is sab ke baad
We never talk
We need to talk


I don't think its working any more


And mein tumhe bata raha hoon


You cannot discuss anything with a woman


Because they call it a discussion


But any discussion with a woman is an argument


Aur argument mein toh tu boss unse jeet hi nahi sakta…


Because hum aadmiyon ki ek basic need hoti hai


To make sense in an argument


Ladkiyon ko koi farak nahi padta


Sense jaise bekaasi cheez ki wajeh se wo


Argument kaise haar jaye


Ek to aaj ki baat pe argument aaj hoga hi nahi


aaj ki baat par jhagada hoga do mahine baad...
Yahaan saala yaad hi nahi rehta hai do mahine pehle hua kya tha???


Ladkiyaan bacha ke rakhti hain
yeh chota hatiyar nahi
bada hatiyar hai
isse badi ladai mein use karenge…




TU kabhi try karliyo khud ko sahi saabit karne ki


Tujhe lag hi raha haoga ki is point se tu apni baat ko ssabit karlega


Lekin tabhi ek awaaz ayegi


Ungli neeche karoo


Tune dhyaan bhi nahi diya hoga


Lekin tumhari nadaan si ungli unki taraf point kar rahi hogi


And suddenly , the whole argument will flush down the gutter
And mudra ye reh jayega ki


How dare you point a finger at me?


Kisne banaya ye rule


Kisne banaya?


Saal wo beech argument me tumhe jhoota phek ke maarle to koi dikkat nahi


Lekin unki taraf ek ungli point kardo


Saara mudra khatam


Wo sahi tum galat


Shaadi se pehle wo nagin tune kyon bhajta hai


Kyon ki band wala bhi tumhe chetaavani de raha hoga ki kaun aa raha hai tumhari zindagi me


Inka signature tune hai wo


Ab ye bata wo kya karne aayi thi tere paas yahaan


Same cheez mein karoon to


Uske kisi friend ko call karke
Ab ye problems ginaoon to


Kahegi tumne meir friend ko call kiya
Hmm hmm


Tum uski sympathy gain karna chahte ho?


Y don't you go and sleep with her?


Its ridiculous yaar